Daydreams

 

 "Can we travel the US for a year in an Airstream trailer, 

listening to records and 

swimming in all the oceans and 

visiting the National Parks?"

A facebook acquaintance posted this 

randomly as her status,

and I thought,

"that is what I'm wanting to do for my year off!"

If you follow me on Pinterest,

I have a whole board of "Airstream Inspiration".

I have a National Parks Pass for the year

and would happily spend more days like this one.

And a collection of records with a portable record player

that can come along.

 Do you want to come swim in the oceans with me?

-----------------------------

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.

-Henry David Thoreau

            

Year off (for reals!)

 

 

Remember THIS post?

About my year off?

Well, after seeing the thinly veiled panic in my friends' and family's eyes

when I told them I was taking a year off

in medical school,

I decided to finish medical school.

And THEN take a year off!

Medical school has been hard for me.

I know, I thought medical school was supposed to be easy too!

Such a shock!

But seriously, it's been hard beyond the endless hours of studying

and the 24-hour shifts.

It's been hard to find my place

in this system.

 Which makes me question,

well,

my place in this system.

With that Saturn energy pumping,

I decided that I really needed to take a step back.

My life has been very wonderfully planned,

from high school

to college

to a stint in NYC 

to traveling before medical school,

(but really always knowing I was going to medical school)

to 4 years of torture medical school.

The next logical step is residency.

I had one foot hovering over that next step on the path,

with my letters of recommendation

and a draft of my personal statement

for residency applications,

when I decided not to apply.

I know this isn't a huge deal.

The world is wide.
And there are many lives to lead.

But sometimes your world gets so small,

you only see that next step,

and to not take it feels overwhelming.

Plus it is unimaginably awkward to tell

type A physicians who are grading you,

that you are taking a "year off"

and that 

you have no idea what you're doing with it.

Lots of blank stares with that one, man.

I've always been a big fan of the whole

"follow your heart"

ideal.

But I want to clear the air...

That is not always an easy decision!

Lovely little things like doubt/fear/guilt sneak in and whisper...

how are you going to afford that?

so many people would kill to be in your position and you're going to waste it?

why do you think you deserve this?

what are you going to do?

don't you think you're just wasting time?

don't you have soul-crushing amounts of student loans?

But I can tell you,

when you stop listening to those voices

and make the decision your heart is begging for...

all you feel is...

relief.

So, I still have no definitely answers to the questions above.

But I'm only on this earth once,

and I certainly don't intend to let it pass me by.

Right now, I'm dreaming up plans for this year off.

 And it feels magical.

There is so much beauty in this life,

and so much more to it than 9-5, grades, and hanging on.

So feel free to dream with me.

What would you do with a year off?

I'm open to suggestions!

----------------------------------------

Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

-Mary Oliver

Photos: Pinterest

Because it's Monday

And we could all use a little happy.

This actually had me tearing up on Friday.

But it was a long week.

I haven't even told you guys what I've been doing this month!

I've been on the locked psychiatry unit.

I wrote about my psych experiences before:

here, here, here, and here.

This month has involved...
 a 60-year-old man in a cropped purple sweater vest blasting Call Me Maybe,

being cussed at,

talking to patients in togas made out of hospital sheets,

assuring a manic patient that we were not in fact Nazis,

trying to convince another manic patient that she really should get dialysis because you know, 

her life depended on it,

being proposed to by a patient,

and 

seeing people come back to reality from a psychosis.

It's been amazing.

 But it also makes for tearing up on Friday while watching a dude dancing badly around the world.

--------------------------------------

To study the abnormal is the best way of understanding the normal.

-William James

Every woman should travel

I've been thinking about travel a lot lately.
Of waking up every morning and creating your own agenda.
Of sliding into that train seat excited to stare out at a new countryside for hours.
Of carrying everything you need, from underwear to your journal, around in a backpack.
Of the rainbows you see in the mist as the sun rises and burns away the clouds on Machu Picchu.
Of those glasses of Moroccan mint tea served with two sugar cubes.
Of having to take multiple showers a night because you can't afford an air conditioned hotel room in 120 degree heat in India.
Of peeing on the side of the road in the African bush on an 11 hour bus ride.
How even the days when you're in bed (or on a bus!) with food poisoning somehow are better than many of the gray days we let pass without looking at them with the childlike wonder they deserve. 

When Cate and I traveled, I never really considered the fact that it was 2 women that were traveling 'alone'.
Call it youth or foolishness, but I think I'll call that the ultimate form of feminism that my parents raised me with, to never even consider that you can't do something just because you're a woman.  And for that I'm grateful.

I liked this article.  And I agree, every woman should travel.  But every person should.
Is this really still true?
"A woman traveling alone threatens tradition and propriety. And because women often doubt themselves, we stay toward safe harbors and soft landings, hiding behind the needs and wants of others."
If so, we need to sail out of harbors and come out from hiding, because there's a whole world out there.

I never considered feeling unsafe because I was a woman. 
I did feel disrespected, dismissed, and got groped because I was a woman traveling in countries that made me glad I was a woman in America.
But I never felt unsafe.
I felt lucky.

--------------------------------------------------
"If you are lucky, you stop seeing the world as a series of things you do not have — a boyfriend, a baby, an adorable terrier – and you start noticing the things you do have. A healthy bank account, unburdened by mortgages or school loans. No romantic ties. Loving parents who wanted nothing but happiness for me. Years to burn. That kind of freedom is like a command from the universe to get off your ass and do something amazing." -Sarah Hepola

Half Year Recap

Oh hey July!
Where did you sneak up from?
Well, since we are somehow now halfway through 2012,

I thought I'd do a quick photo recap/gratitude moment

to make sure 

I realize and appreciate all that has happened so far!

January

*Rang in the New Year in Charleston with an Oyster Roast and my best friend.

*Finally got to do my first clinical rotation in Vermont and learned how to deliver babies with a pretty good view of sunrise on the overnight shifts.

February

* Got to go back to sunny St. Andrews Scotland to celebrate the wedding of 2 of my good friends

and to catch up with other good friends!

*Finished my 3rd year of medical school clinical clerkships. Wept with joy that that was over.

March

 *Went to freakin' Costa Rica for some hilarious times with a great crew.

*Had the most amazing rejuvenation at Pacha Mama.

 *Did a reading month learning all about psychiatry.

*Celebrated my amazing friend's 30th birthday with a reunion of our high school friends in North Georgia.

April

 

*Had a unicorn birthday party with my family.  As you do.

*Moved out of my car.  And into a lovely house in Burlington!

*Did my Medicine Acting Internship.

*Went camping with some very flexible people 

(Charlie. Second from the left. Check it.)

May

*Drove home to Georgia, getting to see friends in NYC and DC along the way!
Hello home!

*Got to see my baby sister Jenna graduate from UGA! Go Banana!

*Went to my cousin's beautiful wedding Florida.

*Studied for an took Step 2 of the Medical Boards Exams.

June

*Inadvertently took some post-boards vacation,

which involved...

*Wake-boarding

*Music Festivaling at Bonnaroo

and

*Roadtripping back up to glorious Vermont.

*And today I started my Psychiatry Acting Intern rotation.

Wow.
I seriously did not realize that much had happened this year.
Apparently,

it's been a good year so far,

and it's only getting better.

So, what are you grateful for this year so far?

Travel Tuesday

Why do I love traveling so much?

Because you can fit so many lives into so little time.

The other week...

Sunday: Bonnaroo in the middle of a field in Tennessee, listening to Kenny Rogers, Bon Iver, The Beach Boys, Phish, and Fun.

Monday: Blue plate lunch special with Mom at a cafe in Cumming, GA.

Tuesday:  Cocktails in Atlanta with these lovely high school friends.

Wednesday:  Bible Study at my friend's house with sweet Southern couples and their adorable babies in Knoxville, as I crashed with them on my trek up to Vermont.  

Thursday:  Minor league baseball game in New Jersey.

Friday:  Lunch in Bryant Park with my sister and her best friend followed by lounging around NYC.

Saturday:  Swimming in Lake Champlain in Burlington, Vermont.

Sunday:  Countryside BBQ and wiffle ball game at Annie's in Plainfield, Vermont. 

-----------------------------

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” 

-Mae West

Thin Places

I stumbled upon this article from the NYT,

and love that that feeling of transcendent places,

wherever they may be,

has a name.

Thin Places,

where the distance between heaven and earth is thinner.

Where are your thin places?

I agree that Powell Bookstore in Portland, OR is one for sure.

You can lose yourself in time there, and I feel like books find you there.

 Right, Erica? Michael?

Camp Rutledge in Rutledge, Georgia

 is an unlikely, red clay holy place

where people pull heaven a little closer.

Photo: From http://www.peachtreepres.org/StudentsTripsHigh.aspx?ID=129

The Taj Mahal is a place that doesn't falter under the weight of expectations.

It really is as peaceful 

and as beautiful as you hope.

And I'm hoping that Osho Hall,

where we have our silent meditations

will become thinner and thinner as the week progresses.

Photo: http://pachamama.com/meditation.asp

So tell me, what are your thin places??

-------------------------------------------------------------

A pilgrimage may be to a place with personal memories,

or a holy place where for generations people have prayed and sought God.

Everyone's starting point

and journey

is different,

inside- and outwardly.

-Celtic Daily Prayer

Hippie Camp

Whoa, so sorry for that last gross post!

Also, did we all know that w-h-o-a is the proper spelling?

Even if it is, I still don't like it.

Give me woah, any day. 

If I'm trying to calm a bucking bronco, I want the 'h' to be on the end of my woah.

Just saying.

So, I'm feeling much better, thank you.

And have now moved on from the tree house to...

well, another tree house.

That's right,

I've checked in at hippie camp for the next 10 days.

 It's a beautiful place called

PachaMama

(which means Mother Earth)

nestled up in the mountains over the beaches I was just staying at.

So far the weekend has been just checking in,

finding out where my cabin is,

making new camp friends (and just like in junior high, they don't wear deodorant!),

and getting a tour from my Pachamiga.

The real activity gets going tomorrow.

Instead of campfire singalongs and archery, 

however,

we have daily yoga and silent meditation.

Although there are some campfire drum circles...

So, here's a little photo tour of my new digs:

Welcome center! Campers moving in and out this weekend.

I'm in the Racoon cabins! 

Woohoo! Racoon #1.

My treehouse.  So far I've only seen one bat in my cabin, but no racoons.

My shower, which, although it doesn't look like much, is honest to god the most amazing shower I've ever encountered.  High-pressure, cold water during the hot, dry Costa Rican season is like nectar from the gods.

Meal schedule!

Mess hall!  Kind of the most beautiful mess hall ever!

Complete with cushions, because obviously the tables are the low ones you have to sit on the floor for.  And you have to take off your shoes.

Wild Treats Raw Food and Smoothie Bar if you need a fix in between meal times.  I need one of these in my life. Forever.

What? Your camp wasn't tropical??

Where good campers clean up their dishes after meals.

Jungle Shop!  In case you forgot your organic lavender soap or botanical toothpaste. (Don't worry, I remembered mine.)

Daily Schedule Board! We'll see if I make it to the 6:30am yoga manana!

This is a board about Satsang...which is kind of like devotional time. Except ours is in a big marble floored hall in the middle of the Costa Rican jungle.

Standard Camp Buddha.  Typical.

Activities boards!  Not sure what I'm going to sign up for yet...

Silent meditation or Reiki or yoga?  So hard to choose!

 Ok, off to Silent Meditation hour before dinner!