It's been a while.
5 years a while.
I graduated from medical school.
Took time away from medicine.
Moved 5 times.
Eloped.
Had a miscarriage.
Had a wedding celebration.
Had a baby.
Started a psychiatry residency in Vermont.
There, now we're all caught up.
In many ways, I think I will eventually refer to those years as the lost years.
So many changes without a lot of grounding left me lost to myself in many ways.
Drifting down this river without sticking my oar in to change the speed or noticing the way the light bounces off the water makes every mile of life blur together into nondescript moments.
So I'm back to blogging.
I don't presume to think anything I write down is important enough to be preserved or mined for data (hey Facebook!) but it helps me notice my life as it's passing.
It helps hold me accountable to myself and the life I want to be living.
It makes me pause and feel the water flow over my fingertips.
And sometimes sharing the small, quiet moments are what bring us together anyway.
So here I am, turning 35 on a cold, bluebird April day.
It's one of those spring mornings that still feels like winter,
but you can tell something is about to change.
There are birds chirping, the ground is soft again, and the sun now warms my car as it sits.
I love this moment.
I'm an Aries, a spring baby.
I love the beginning, that moment on Keats' Grecian Urn of lovers frozen in the moment before a kiss, the anticipation, the start of it all.
While the trees are still totally bare and the mornings are frigid, you know it is about to start and you haven't missed a single moment yet.
I think that's why I loved youth, why I've been so reluctant to grow up.
That pluripotent state where everything is still possible.
I've recently been introduced to the concept of necessary losses,
that while we are growing up we are gaining skills, growing, adding,
and that from middle age, we have to learn to give up illusions, unrealistic expectations, options.
And that sucks.
So as I cross that threshold I'm left wondering how an Aries does middle age well without buying a red sports car?
I think it has something to do with being intentional to not let go of the things that are really important to you, that keep that spark in your soul going.
Maybe I can necessarily lose the 9-5 life instead.
I'm not entirely sure what it is going to look like, but my birthday present to myself is to pay attention along the way and try to stay grounded in myself.
5 years a while.
I graduated from medical school.
Took time away from medicine.
Moved 5 times.
Eloped.
Had a miscarriage.
Had a wedding celebration.
Had a baby.
Started a psychiatry residency in Vermont.
There, now we're all caught up.
In many ways, I think I will eventually refer to those years as the lost years.
So many changes without a lot of grounding left me lost to myself in many ways.
Drifting down this river without sticking my oar in to change the speed or noticing the way the light bounces off the water makes every mile of life blur together into nondescript moments.
So I'm back to blogging.
I don't presume to think anything I write down is important enough to be preserved or mined for data (hey Facebook!) but it helps me notice my life as it's passing.
It helps hold me accountable to myself and the life I want to be living.
It makes me pause and feel the water flow over my fingertips.
And sometimes sharing the small, quiet moments are what bring us together anyway.
So here I am, turning 35 on a cold, bluebird April day.
It's one of those spring mornings that still feels like winter,
but you can tell something is about to change.
There are birds chirping, the ground is soft again, and the sun now warms my car as it sits.
I love this moment.
I'm an Aries, a spring baby.
I love the beginning, that moment on Keats' Grecian Urn of lovers frozen in the moment before a kiss, the anticipation, the start of it all.
While the trees are still totally bare and the mornings are frigid, you know it is about to start and you haven't missed a single moment yet.
I think that's why I loved youth, why I've been so reluctant to grow up.
That pluripotent state where everything is still possible.
I've recently been introduced to the concept of necessary losses,
that while we are growing up we are gaining skills, growing, adding,
and that from middle age, we have to learn to give up illusions, unrealistic expectations, options.
And that sucks.
So as I cross that threshold I'm left wondering how an Aries does middle age well without buying a red sports car?
I think it has something to do with being intentional to not let go of the things that are really important to you, that keep that spark in your soul going.
Maybe I can necessarily lose the 9-5 life instead.
I'm not entirely sure what it is going to look like, but my birthday present to myself is to pay attention along the way and try to stay grounded in myself.
I had the pleasure of working closely with Mr Pedro for several years as business partners. During the time that Pedro and his loan company team served as the Mortgage Representative for my home also for my business financing and he helped me closing off loans which really helped me in my business today, we were consistently far above our goal and this can only be attributable to Mr Pedro's hard work. I appreciate your hard work and also big thanks to your team for helping me with a loan to grow my business. If you are looking for a loan of any kind, contact Mr Pedro on pedroloanss@gmail.com Mr Pedro is an honest loan officer working with a huge number of investors willing to finance any project.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, over time our relationship grew beyond work and I’m still happy to call him a trusted friend.