Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Truth of the Day

The earth will hold you up.

 It will bear your weight.

It can handle your dreams.

It does not fear anything inside of you.
Sometimes that's all you can count on.
Sometimes that's all you need.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Weight in Gold

There are moments every day
that flow like poetry
right in the middle 
of the mundane.

I've been missing them.
I've been taking too many steps and getting no where fast.
And days for me turn kind of gray
unless I can live the poetry of them.

Unless I pause on my walk
up the stairs,
on my way to return emails
and pay bills,
peel back the curtain,
and rest my head against the glass
to drink in the glowing sunset
with my warm tea.

Unless I sink my body into a 
hot hot bath
and feel the burn of my frozen toes thawing.

Unless I pause during the surgery
and stop hearing my attending
physiology questions for me,
 because I am staring at a human heart
and it is beating.  

That was my day.
The other moments were just steps along the path.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


Many of my conversations in the hospital go like this lately,

Random well-meaning person (RWMP): 
So the match [how residencies are chosen] is coming up.  Are you getting nervous?

I'm taking a year off, actually.

Wait, so you're not applying?


So what are you going to do?

Not sure yet.  Lots of ideas, but no plans.

Part of that is intentional.  
My life has been very planned,
so I'd like to take a page from my sister's book,
who has never had a 5-year plan,
(and yet has a college degree, was a bartender in a ski town in NZ, and now lives and works in Zambia),
see where the road takes me.

Once you plan it,
I feel like half the magic is spent.

That said,
I at least want to be able to see my options.
I was toying with the idea of getting a planner,
the beau
had just created this great chalkboard (above) for his planning
space for small, medium, and large goals 
in many areas of his life.

He offered to help me make one,
but I recalled I had a roll of butcher paper which would do the trick just fine.

So now,
my desk is covered with this:


My lovely friend 
keeps asking if I've filled it in.

I haven't at all.
Not a lick.

But I feel better knowing I have the space to plan when I'm ready.
And I still have all the magic of the unknown
ahead of me.

P.S. Happy birthday to my big sis, Kara!!

That's the thing with magic. 
You've got to know it's still here, all around us, or it just stays invisible for you.
Charles de Lint

Monday, February 11, 2013

Prayer Flags

Hi lovely people!

So, I ventured into the land of silk screening
added a new section to the Etsy shop to sell said creations!
Meet, the prayer flags.

Traditional prayer flags 
  are used to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. 
It is thought
in Tibetan buddhism,
the flags do not carry prayers to the gods,
but rather
let the prayers and mantras
be blown on the wind
good will and compassion to all
the wind touches.

I thought we could all use
some modern day mantras.
I'm hoping to beef up my Etsy shop
with both creations and vintage finds over the next few months
and see if it can be a support source
for the 
adventures in this next year.

First on the adventure list...
is doing a rotation in an HIV clinic in Zambia.
All the proceeds
from the prayer flags would go toward that.

if you would care to purchase anything (here),
become an official follower of the blog (on the right there),
spread the word about the Etsy shop,
or share my facebook posts,
I would be oh so
eternally grateful.

You really are great.


May all beings have happiness and its causes, 
May all beings be freed from suffering and its causes; 
May all beings constantly dwell in joy transcending sorrow;
May all beings dwell in equal love for those both close and distant. 
-Tibetan Buddhist Prayer-

Saturday, February 9, 2013

A Moment

 I started an orthopedic surgery rotation this week.
Besides the shock of being back in the hospital
with 5am wake up calls
and 13 hour days of surgery,
it's been interesting
to see 
just how those ol' hips and knees are replaced.

Also I've decided that if I become a psychiatrist,
I still need to know:
1) how to deliver a baby
2) what to do in case of a heart attack
3) how to examine injuries.

Because there will inevitably
be the times when someone asks,
"Is there a doctor here?"
And I'm gonna need to 
have a little more in my toolkit
"How does that [baby coming out/crushing chest pain/bone sticking out of your leg] make you feel?"

That said,
yesterday I had a moment
that hit me with a lot more
just the knowledge of bones and ligaments.

The attending physician
had left the resident, scrub nurse, and I
to finish up
a repair of an Achilles tendon rupture.

As the resident sewed the end of the tendon together,
I retracted,
and the scrub nurse cut the sutures,
we talked about 
how we got where we were,
our families,
and our weekend plans.
And in that moment,
I realized that we were all 20-something people,
working in unison,
with no hierarchy, 
approaching each other as fellow 20-somethings 
with lives outside of this moment,
real people,
treating each other with respect and kindness,
each with something to contribute to this moment
of helping 
another 20-something with a ruptured Achilles tendon.

And then I looked around
and saw that the 
anesthesiologist was also a resident, likely in his 20's,
as was the circulating nurse.

And for some reason,
it really hit me,
that we weren't just students/residents/assitants
doing what the attending physician told us to
under supervision,
we were
in charge of helping this human being.
And in 3 months,
I will be a physician.

The face of medicine is changing.
And my little heart 
just swelled with pride
in this moment,
thinking that if the future of medicine looks like 
this little team,
full of kindness, realness, and working together, 
it looks pretty damn good.

Medicine is not only a science; it is also an art.
It does not consist of compounding pills and plasters;
it deals with the very processes of life,
which must be understood before they may be guided.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013


 "Can we travel the US for a year in an Airstream trailer, 
listening to records and 
swimming in all the oceans and 
visiting the National Parks?"

A facebook acquaintance posted this 
randomly as her status,
and I thought,
"that is what I'm wanting to do for my year off!"

If you follow me on Pinterest,
I have a whole board of "Airstream Inspiration".

I have a National Parks Pass for the year
and would happily spend more days like this one.

And a collection of records with a portable record player
that can come along.

 Do you want to come swim in the oceans with me?


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
-Henry David Thoreau